True Story (Skit)

True ******' story,
I swear on my mother's eyes
The greatest ******' come back ever
******' bottom of the ninth, right?
Three *****, two strikes
Two outs, bases all loaded
Whitie Herzog is on the ******' mount
I don't know, some ******' kid
This ******' kid comes up,
I ******' put my drink down
******' look up, the ******' ball goes over the green monster
You hear what
I'm tellin' you?
I swear on my mother's eyes
True ******' story