The Flood (Prod. nvr)

Living is one of the most terrifying things for me
To hear the ones I love and care about say things like
How happy I make them and how they see all these positive things within me
Because I feel it's within human nature to hurt one another
No matter how hard you try not to
And I know, no matter what, I'll always end up hurting someone
Because no one is just like you
They all hurt people just by thinking you're failing in a different way than them
And I know that doesn't make you a bad person but I don't ever wanna imagine hurting the people I care about just by being myself
So it makes me think maybe I should just push you all away and cut all ties and admire from afar
But you say that I'll just hurt worse
And to be honest, I couldn't push you away even if I try
So I'm sorry if one day I'm not good enough
I have something to say, I pushed it back in my mind for so long, always biting my tongue
Always running away, constantly, forever, like a pendulum swinging
And I don't know who swung me this way but I hate this
This feeling of emptiness, I could be just like you
But I'd rather die than live a long life without meaning
Was I born to fail in life?
Or was I just born to try?
Don't try to tell me what to believe when you believe in the things that make you so weak
Because even when I open my eyes, everything's black, everything's empty
To the world, put this chip on my shoulder that I chose to let myself 'cause of the way that I see things
I don't know, I don't care because it doesn't matter
At the end of the day, as much as I hate to admit it
I just wanna smile, I just want love