Leave the Lights On

Feeling kind of bony
On the telephoney
Talking to Marconi
Eating Rice-a-Roni
No****ted for a Tony
For acting like a phoney
Watching Twilight Zoney
On my forty-two inch Sony
This is just a long song
It aint no poem
Leave the lights on
Till your baby gets home
Its like sitting in the kitchen
When the musics really *****in
Your nose, it starts to itchin
As you count your old age pension
Did I forget to mention
The ride that I was hitchin
To the Aluminum convention
I had such good intention
Keep your cotton pickin fingers off
My song poem
And leave the lights on
Till your baby gets home
Leave the lights on
Till your baby gets home
Leave the lights on
Till your baby gets home
Dont forget your toothbrush
Your hairbrush and your comb
Leave the lights on
Till your baby gets home
Got a big ol dog
A chrome crowbar
I keep that mother ****er
In the back seat of my car
Me and Billy Shakespeare
Stepped out to get a root beer
We sat together so near
People thought we were queer
Punctuated by the big scare
We joined the Air Force right there
To defend our country first class
Who couldnt give a rats ass
Dont you tell me
That the White House is my home
Leave the lights on
Till your baby gets home
Leave the lights on
Till your baby gets home
Leave the lights on
Till your baby gets home
Dont forget your toothbrush
Your hairbrush and your comb
Leave the lights on
Till your baby gets home
Got a big ol dog
A big iron bar
I keep that mother ****er
In the back seat of my car
Its like kissing Greta Garbo
With a mouth full of marbles
Like trying to cash a paycheck
In the middle of a train wreck
Leave the lights on
Leave the lights on
Like trying to get around
In a car made of Bondo
Like speaking German lingo
To a dog named Dingo Plotz
Leave the lights on
Leave the lights on
Like a French fried quesadilla
In a franchised pizzeria
Leave the lights on
Leave the lights on
A big iron bar
I keep that mother ****er
In the back seat of my car