The Real Slim Shady (Album Version)

May I have your attention please

Will the real Slim Shady please stand up

I repeat will the real Slim Shady please stand up
We're going to have a problem here
Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before

jaws all on the floor like Pam like Tommy just burst in the door
started whoopin her ass worse than before
they first get divorced throwing her over furniture
It's the return of the
Oh wait no way your kidding he didn't just say what I think he did did he
And Dr Dre said
Nothing you idiots Dr Dre's dead he's locked in my bas***nt
Feminist women love Eminem
Chicka chicka chicka Slim Shady I'm sick of him
look at him walking around grabbing his you know what
limpin' to you know who yeah but hes so cute though
Yea I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
but no worse than what's going on in your parent's bedrooms
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose
but can't but its cool for Tom Green to **** a dead moose
my bum is on your lips my bum is on your lips
and if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss
and that's the message that we deliver to little kids
and expect them not to know what a womens c**toris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
by the time they hit 4th grade
they got the discovery channel don't they
We ain't nothing but mammals well some of us cannibals
who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can * *** dead animals and antelopes
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
But if you feellike I feel I got the antidote
Women wave your panty hoes sing the chorus and it goes
I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
Please stand up Please stand up Please stand up
becuase I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim shady
Please stand up Please stand up Please stand up
Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records Will Smith

Well I do so **** him and **** you too
You think I give a damm about a Grammy
Half of you critics can't even stomach me let alone stand me
But Slim what if u win wouldn't it be weird
Why So you guys can just lie to get me here
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears
S*it Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
Little ***** put me on blast on MTV
yeah he's cute but I think he's married to Kim hehe
I should download her audio on mp3
And show the whole world how you gave Eminem V D
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups all you do is annoy me
So I've been sent here to destroy you
And theres a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me
Who just don't give a **** like me
Who dress like me
Walk talk and act like me
It just might be the next best thing
But not quite me
I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
Please stand up Please stand up Please stand up
becuase I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim shady
Please stand up Please stand up Please stand up
I'm like a headtrip to listen to
Cause I'm only giving you
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the b***s to say it in front of ya'll
And I don't gotta be false or sugar coated at all
I just get on the mic and spit it
And whether you like to admit it
I just s*it it better than 90% of you rappers out there
Then you wonder how can kidz eat up these albums like valiums
Its funny cuz at the rate im going when I'm 30
Ill be the only person in the nursing home flirty
Pinching nurses asses when I'm jackin' off with Jergens and I'm jerking
But this whole bag of viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin'
He could be workin at Burger King spitten on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot circling
screaming I don't give a ****
With his windows down and system up
So will the real Shady please stand up
and put one of those fingures on each hand up
and to be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and one more time loud as you can how does it go
Cuz I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
Please stand up Please stand up Please stand up
becuase I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys arejust imitating
So won't the real Slim shady
Please stand up Please stand up Please stand up
I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady
Please stand up Please stand up Please stand up
becuase I'm Slim Shady
Yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim shady
Please stand up Please stand up Please stand up