Worship What I Hate

I keep looking at myself in the mirror
Hoping it will change
And I keep wishing for a brand-new body
That I didnt have to blame

Im seeing every flaw, like a failure
Im using every cure, like a savior
Like trying to build a church out of all my hurt
When it really needs grace

I gave all my time to nothing
I focused on who I was
Not who Im becoming
My fears they took up space
My eyes couldnt look away
I didnt even realize
I worshiped what I hate

Half a bottle of red
Just before bed
Is the only way I dream

Before I really wake up
The first thing I touch is a button on a screen
Im not guilty of leaving, not sticking around
Im guilty of staying and just checking out
Yeah, I kept my head down and really missed out
On whats in front of me

Cause I gave all my time to nothing
I focused on who I was
Not who Im becoming
My fears they took up space
My eyes couldnt look away
I didnt even realize
I worshiped what I hate

Why do the lies feel like the truth?
Why do I do the things I do?
Why do I fight so hard to keep my heart empty?

Cause I gave so much time to nothing
I focused on who I was
Not who Im becoming
My fears they took up space
My eyes couldnt look away
I didnt even realize
I worshiped what I hate

I didnt even realize (Realize)
I didnt even realize (Realize)
I didnt even realize
I worshiped what I hate

Didn't even realize
I worship what I hate

Didnt even realize, no
Didnt even realize, didnt know
Mmm, yeah