Death of the Space Wizard

Melanin melancholy, my black skin dished me a deeper tragedy,
I cant breathe my lungs tight, it keep reminding me that I could die at any moment, Im a victim, of a man made decision. I wasnt there to hear the Doctor tell my parents this is.. not gonna end well for instance resistance is just futile in this world anyway , its just gonna get you any day, I feel hopeless, its like my minds soaked in a black hole where the devil dishes omens
Im winning when Im fighting these drug habits, though I been a high functioning drug addict. Still I make the smile available when wall crashes, 4 around me my world remains a dull palace, cuz my imagination takes me out this box, I still cry at times for being dependent on the drugs, and my mum keep telling me that everything is God, then why He make me like this, why He give me this, why am I so capable but cant even resist, my body shuts down each every other day, why I still walk in pain even though I pray, and now Im faced with these cross roads, choose Spiritual or choose the cold, I now before the Throne, tears creep down my eyes its harder not to show. So many days of suffering its harder not to woe, soon its my time to go, I wouldnt change the pain cuz the pain gave me hope, loneliness gave me rope, I could have tied it round my neck but I didnt though, I threw it up to Heaven and now I need go,
Climb.