No Irish Need Apply

Im a decent boy just landed from the town of Ballyfad
I want a situation, yes, and wants it very bad
I seen employment advertised - 'Its just the thing,' says I
But the dirty spalpeen ended with No Irish Need Apply
'Woah,' says I, 'but thats an insult, though to get the place Ill try'
So I went to see the blaggard with his No Irish Need Apply
Some may think it a misfortune to be christened Pat or Dan
But to me it is an honor to be born an Irishman
Well I started out to find the house, I got it mighty soon
There I found the old chap seated, he was reading the Tribune
I told him what I came for, when he in a rage did fly
'No!' he says, 'you are a Paddy, and no Irish need apply'
Well I gets my dander risin, Id like to black his eye
To tell an Irish gentleman, No Irish Need Apply
Some may think it a misfortune to be christened Pat or Dan
But to me it is an honor to be born an Irishman
Well I couldnt stand it longer, so ahold of him I took
And I gave him such a whelping as hed get at Donnybrook
He hollered 'Milia murther,' and to get away did try
And swore hed never write again No Irish Need Apply
Well he makes a big apology, I bid him then good-bye
Saying 'when next you want a beating, write No Irish Need Apply'
Some may think it a misfortune to be christened Pat or Dan
But to me it isan honor to be born an Irishman