Sooth Cough Medicine

*man coughing*
他在咳嗽
Sounds like you got a nasty cough!
你好像得了重感冒啊！
Yeah? No ****.
啊？靠不要啊
Here baby, try this.
寶貝，來試試這個
Sooth?
速嘶靈？
Yeah! Sooth annihilates cough and cold symptoms.
沒錯！速嘶靈可以消除咳嗽和感冒症狀
Wow! I'm seeing donkeys!
哇！我看到好多頭驢誒！
Hahaha! That's the patented cough-killing
哈哈哈！速嘶靈是發明專利產品，專門治感冒
concoction of codeine, morphine, and alcohol.
由可待因、、酒精等精製而成
Your cold will be history! How's your cold now ?
從此告別感冒！感覺好點沒？
Who the hell are you?
你是誰啊？
I'm your wife, fool!
我是你老婆啊二貨！
Sooth kills a cough fast.
速嘶靈止咳有奇效
And for the kid's chesty cough, it's Sooth Junior,
你家孩子也咳嗽了？來試試速嘶靈兒童裝
the medication that comes in a fun,
包裝更可愛
animal-shaped container kids will love.
動物形狀藥瓶，孩子們最喜歡
Hey, look at me!
嘿，快看！
I'm binging on medication, just like dad! Oh...
我在學老爸一樣呢！哦呃...
Oh my God, he's barely breathing!
天啊！他快沒呼吸了！
No, that's that's just
放心啦，那那那隻是
the medicine doing it's magic.
速嘶靈的奇妙效果啦
Thanks to Sooth, his cough is history.
感謝速嘶靈，他再也不能咳嗽了
With Sooth, you'll forget you had a cough,
吃了速嘶靈，你會忘了你患咳嗽
your name, or where to properly go to the bathroom.
會忘了你叫啥，忘了怎麼去廁所
Feel better fast, with Sooth.
想早日康復，就選速嘶靈